Decoding Dogs: What'd You Do That For?

Introduction

“So what’s going on?” I asked, taking a seat on the couch. Shooter, a handsome Australian Shepherd came sauntering up to me and I gave him a scratch behind his ears.

“Well,” his dad began, adjusting awkwardly in his chair. “Shooter seems to have no sense of personal space.”

I looked down at the dog who was lying at my feet. Typically, a dog with boundary issues would be nudging me for more attention or trying to crawl on my lap. “Really?” I asked, a bit confused.

Shooter’s dad laughed. “Not all the time. Just in certain situations. Well, one certain situation, I guess.”

“Which is?”

“When my girlfriend’s over and we begin...getting close, he just loses it. He’s all over us. And if we try to shut him out of the room, he goes crazy. Last night, after we...finished, I came out to find he’d peed in the hall and torn up a roll of toilet paper. All I could say was, ‘What’d you do that for?!”

The following weekend I went to a session with a little yorkie named Petal and her mom. As soon as I walked into the apartment, my eyes were drawn to the walls. Covering nearly every inch were Post-It notes with affirmations scribbled on them. “You’re beautiful,” “Today is the day,” “You can do anything you set your mind to,” and so on. I walked from wall to wall, casually glancing at the notes while Petal’s mom explained the issues.

“She just freaks out whenever I leave. My neighbors say she barks the entire time and whenever I come home, I always find something she’s destroyed. She can’t even stand it if I’m in a different room.”

“How long have you had her?” I asked.

“About six months. I broke up with my boyfriend and needed a little companion.” Right about then she noticed me reading the Post-It pep talks. “I know,” she said with a laugh. “After my break up, I went through a pretty tough time. Petal was all I had. Up until last month we were never apart.”

“And now?” I asked.

“Well, I used to work from home, but I just got a new job. So, I’m gone more during the weekdays. I’m also going out with friends more now.”

For five months she served as her mom’s security blanket, best friend and emotional support system. And not to say that her mom doesn’t still love her and give her a great home, but a month ago things began to change. And Petal was never filled in on the new dynamic and expectations. One day she was her mom’s entire world, and the next she was just one piece of the pie — expected to understand and adapt. Even though Petal couldn’t talk, I heard her loud and clear, “What’d you do that for?!”

You may think the problem is your dog’s inability to understand you, but I’m here to tell ya, it’s a two-way street.

Does this sound familiar?

• Upon leaving the house, do you feel the need to give your dog Prozac – and maybe take one yourself?
• Is your pup a Velcro Dog, constantly clinging to your side, jumping on your lap and acting as your shadow?
• Do you find yourself dreading walks? Do you wrap the leash around your hand and wrist over and over again, as if preparing for battle, until you’ve lost all circulation?
• Are you going broke from buying the latest and greatest training gear?
• When you see another dog or person approaching, do you immediately search for a bush, alleyway or garbage can to jump into to avoid the impending Cujo reenactment?
• Are you becoming a hermit – refusing to leave your house or to allow visitors to enter?
• Do you lose your temper and shout at your dog so often you’re beginning to think there may be a place for you guys on Jerry Springer’s stage?
• Are you sending weekly letters to HGTV lobbying to get on one of their renovation shows in an attempt to repair all the damage your dog has caused?
• Have you strongly considered moving to a new city or state to avoid the angry stares and whispers of your neighbors?
• Do you feel the need to advise houseguests to bring an extra pair of pants with them to avoid embarrassment when your dog inevitably jumps up and rips the ones they’re wearing?
• Do you feel as though you and your dog simply don’t understand each other?

Did someone in your life buy you this book as a subtle hint that your beloved pup has an issue or two? Was it a friend? A neighbor? Perhaps your war-weary mailman left it on your front porch, sick and tired of buying new trousers and fearing for his life each time he approaches your house.

Or, perhaps you casually picked it up on your own accord, muttering to yourself, “This might be interesting. Not that my dog has issues or anything.” But chances are, if you listen very closely, that little voice in the back of your mind is listing off certain behaviors or habits that may be less than desirable. Listen to that voice. If you ignore it, those unwanted behaviors will only persist, and possibly worsen.

And lastly, to those of you who dove headfirst into this book, seeking guidance, instruction, support and sanity, let me just say, I’m here to help. Sure, your dog may have some issues and maybe he’s terrorizing the neighborhood children, but at least you’ve recognized it and you’re taking responsibility.

Regardless of which category you fall into, the important thing to remember is, seeking help is not an admission of failure. In fact, I’m writing this book for all owners – even those with well-behaved pets. The goal here is to improve the dog-human relationship, no matter how rocky or stable it may be. This will not only improve your life, but also that of your dog.

It’s important, as owners, that we understand the role we play in our dog’s behavior; how our actions manifest within him and cause his reactions. For instance, some dogs can’t handle just a little affection. You give them one rub and they just want more. If this sounds familiar, then take note and act accordingly. If he’s lying down quietly, know what’s to come if you give him a passing scratch behind the ear. Be conscious of your role — for every action, there’s a reaction.

Ask Yourself:

• What are my expectations for my dog?
• How do I communicate these expectations?
• Am I being realistic, keeping in mind my dog’s needs and capabilities?
• Am I, in essence, asking a brown dog to be black? For example, do I expect my shy, fearful dog to enjoy boisterous gatherings of people at our home? Do I expect my anti-social pup to love trips to the dog park?
• And lastly, how much credibility do I have with my dog? When I say “Sit,” for instance, does he listen? Or does he look at me knowing I won’t follow through on making him obey? Does he call the shots?

Some of you probably have managed to teach your dog some basic commands – sit, stay, stop chewing my Italian-leather loafers. But like many of the owners I work with, I’m guessing you’re running into problem areas when it comes to more complicated issues. As with the majority of rocky relationships, a lack of or breakdown in communication is often the culprit. It boils down to learning how to talk to your four-legged friend in a way he understands. Through body language, tone, consistent actions and the right tools, I’m going to teach you to speak Dog. This is a journey into the relationship you share with your dog, not as his “owner” but as his leader. As you improve your communication and strengthen this relationship, you’ll begin to build credibility and earn his trust and respect. And yes, you and your dog are “in a relationship,” so go ahead and update your Facebook status. As with anyone living under your roof, your dog is part of your family dynamic. He’s a thinking, feeling creature with his own way of understanding, communicating and processing. Consider your family – each of you most likely has different communication styles, quirks, preferences, dislikes, ways in which you show love and so on. Your dog is entering this dynamic with his own unique personality, and it’s important you know how to effectively communicate to him what you want while simultaneously understanding what he’s trying to tell you in various situations. Don’t worry – it’s not as difficult as it sounds. But until you fully embrace this and learn to speak and understand your dog’s language, you two will simply carry on spinning your wheels in counterproductive frustration.

I can’t tell you how often owners describe their dogs as unpredictable. “He acts aggressively for no reason,” they’ll say, exasperated and confused. The truth is, dogs don’t do anything “for no reason.” Their reactions are instinct driven. The key, as owners, is to understand what motivates them to do what they do and how we contribute to it. Until you tackle him from his level, confusion will continue to arise – especially if it seems as though your dog only listens on his terms. The root of this issue lies in the relationship between you two, and believe you me, he is just as perplexed as you are. He hears you shouting, feels you tugging on the leash, and is fully aware you are upset, but has no idea why. And on the flip side, you hear him...